NIFA Surgical e-News, March 24, 2012

A good laugh has great short-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn’t just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter isn’t just a quick pick-me-up, though. It’s also good for you over the long haul. Click here to read the Mayo study.

Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery
What! The first assistant wasn’t trained by NIFA?
I’m sorry.
Has anyone seen my contact lens?
Darn. I broke a nail.
They didn’t teach me that complex stitch in my first assisting program.
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that? I didn’t learn that in my first assisting program.
Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingy.
Can you show me how to do that? I only had 4 hours of suture and tying training in my first assisting program.
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change!
Oh, I had one too many drinks last night.
Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
You did this simulated surgery during your NIFA program? Cool, I only learned basic stitches and a couple pf knots.
Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss “Grey’s Anatomy”

Heart Surgeon vs. Mechanic
A famous heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his Mercedes. A loud mouthed mechanic, who was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car, saw the surgeon waiting and lured him into an argument.

The mechanic said to the surgeon, “Look at this car I’m working on. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind them, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So why do you get the big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon very calmly leaned over and whispered to the loudmouth mechanic, “Try doing it with the engine running.”

What is difference between God and a Surgeon?
The surgeon says he is God, but God never says He is surgeon.

What is difference between a NIFA Grad and another RNFA?
The other RNFA claims they are well trained; The NIFA Grad demonstrates it!

Amazing Surgical Outcome
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. “Doctor,” says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?” “Absolutely!” replies the doctor. “That’s funny,” says the man. “I wasn’t able to play it before.”